Welcome.

The magic of literature.

The wonders of food.

Combined on my YouTube channel The Chef and The Classics.

And this little website, an accompaniment to the channel for announcements, book reviews, recipes, and blogs about my life and thoughts.

Hi, I’m Madeline Roth. Maddie. Madeline. Ma-duh-lynn. Maddie Madeline. Welcome.

Come with me as we create a whole world together of spices, sentences, and somatic experiences.

Let’s spend some time getting to know each other. Get lost together talking about Proust or Balzac or Wordsworth over a good bottle of wine and some burrata. Feeling each other savoring the experience.

I thank God for the opportunity to create content with all of you beautiful souls. Thank you for being part of The Chef and The Classics community. Whether you have a PhD from Oxford and could teach me a thing or two about Paradise Lost, or are a mom of three tuning in from Grand Rapids for the air fryer recipes, I am glad you’re here. Wherever we go on this journey, let us grow in our hope in the human capacity to connect and create.

I was so scared to show up for this channel. For this idea.

I have a BA in English, but the books I want to discuss for their contribution to culture in a technical and informed way, to position myself as an authority on English verse, when these books have confounded me, confounded the most learned scholars for centuries, gives me the biggest case of imposter syndrome. I am just going to dive in. I am going to give my honest take, talk about my insights and biggest takeaways, ways in which I think books written 50 years ago, 100 years ago, 400 years ago, still have relevance for our lives today. I believe the books featured on The Chef and The Classics are challenging, but not impossible to comprehend.

I have been making concoctions in the kitchen since I could stand on a stool and reach the counter, yet cooking for an audience makes me question my tastes. I have a wide and expansive palette. There are flavors I haven’t tried, but no flavor I will not try. Well, maybe not the hottest of hots. I leave that to the manly men. I am a delicate white flower from the suburbs of Salt Lake City, Utah.

My life is pretty quiet. I used to fly pretty high but chronic illness has limited my capacity to function. I live with schizoaffective bipolar disorder, which impacts my ability to work. I have tried to work full-time and part-time for a boss in the past at a variety of different jobs and I just end up getting fired every time. Which is a real hit to my self-worth every time it happens. I am a high achiever. I always wanted to work in corporate and have a big title with an even bigger office. And a lot of responsibility.

I got my International Baccalaureate diploma in high school, was a state finalist in solo vocal performance in high school, and double majored in English and Political Science after receiving a full ride to the University of Utah. I interned in the communications office for Senator Harry Reid when he was Senate Majority Leader and worked out of the actual Capitol Building. I have achieved a lot in my life.

It all came crashing down when I had my psychotic break in the summer of 2017. I have been working on rebuilding my life since then while experiencing the daily symptoms of schizoaffective bipolar disorder. This has included auditory and visual hallucinations, intrusive thoughts, huge swings in emotion, lack of motivation, lack of energy, poor physical hygiene (I once had to shave my head after I didn’t wash or brush my hair for six months), two suicide attempts, and just generally feeling like my life was pretty awful. Which it was.

I believe God does not give us more than we can handle.

This illness has truly pushed me to my limit. I have found healing through therapy and medication, but what has made the biggest change in my life has been inviting my Savior Jesus Christ into my life to take on this burden for me. I am not strong enough to take on the forces that attack me on a daily basis. I give my full soul over to Jesus and ask him to help me continue to live my life. To live a simple but full life despite my condition and my limitations.

I receive some financial assistance from the government which allows me to live a simple life. I have my own apartment and I have enough to live a good life. I fill my days with writing, reading, playing with my dog Niko, exercising, spending time with friends and family, and of course cooking. Schizophrenia is an incredibly difficult illness to manage and I experience some form of hallucinations daily.

I hope you come to my content with an open heart and mind about my condition. It is scary at times, and I know hearing a voice in your head is some people’s greatest fear. And this is something I have experienced every day for the past eight years. It is difficult to experience the sensation of people you respect and admire reading your mind and telling you that you are worthless. I have had to come unto Jesus on my knees to receive forgiveness, acceptance, and healing. I know He loves me and I am worthy of love. That is enough to keep me going.

In March 2023, I had an experience I will never forget. I was at my psychiatrist’s office and we were discussing changing my life. I saw an image of Christ who looked like this painting of Christ by Henrich Hofmann.

I was then prescribed a new medication which has changed my life. When I took the first full dose, it was like hands that had been choking me for six years loosened their grip. I could breathe again. I could meditate and contemplate on my Savior again. I could life a normal life again. I have been steadily gaining ground since then. I feel confident and strong in my mind and body. I feel like myself again.

I know my psychiatrist was Divinely inspired to change my medication. I know I am seen and loved by Jesus. He has healed me, is healing me. He is blessing me. Thank you for reading about my story. I want to destigmitze psychotic conditions. My Nana had schizophrenia, my Dad has bipolar with psychotic features. It is a family illness. I come by it honestly. There was nothing I could have done or could not have done to avoid having schizophrenia. I believe if there is a demonic or evil force that attacked me every second of my life for six years, there also is a force of pure Love in the Universe that has witnessed every moment of my suffering and understands what I need and wishes to bless me with all the righteous desires of my heart. Which involves a house, a husband, a child, a dog, a cat, and an Irish wedding varietal of potato options at the ready.

I love to write. I love to take photos. I love to make videos. I started my adult life using these talents in the communications sphere. My illness brought my career to an end, but not my desire to connect to others using my gifts in the creative arts.

Thanks for reading through to the end of this introduction. I hope you take a look around the website and subscribe to my YouTube Channel!

God bless you!